Finding love after 40

When I was in high school and college, once I started dating I really wasn't without a beau for very long.  Guys were coming out of the woodwork.  I think I might have been "single" for about a month, maybe two, at a time.  Of course, at that time I thought it better to be with someone, even the wrong someone, than alone.  


Somewhere in my late 20s I decided, after a particularly bad relationship, to do a little soul searching. I stopped dating or even looking for a significant period of time because I knew that I was the common denominator in all of those failed relationships and I had to figure out why.  I realized that I was terrified of being abandoned, so I developed a nasty habit of trying to predict what these guys wanted and tried to fill that mold instead of just being myself. I also realized that I was in love with the idea of being in love.  Those two things made any potential relationship a lose-lose proposition.


When I was ready to date again, the plethora of guys that I used to have dried up.  Where did they all go?  I mean, I know I was older, but so were they, weren't they?  


I tried the online dating thing. I spent several years on multiple dating sites, some more specific to a demographic than others.  I made some really good friends on one of them (it had message boards and members held various events all around the country) and even went to Ireland last year with a group of them (more on that later).   My beau and I met online through mutual friends. And we fell in love (with each other).


Dating in my 40s is very different from dating in my teens and 20s. There are more responsibilties and people to consider. I've met men from the online dating sites over the years, some I'm still friends with, others I will never see nor hear from again (thank God).  I'm always amused at people's reactions to us.  Some are happy for us. Some are not.  But their issues with my choices are theirs: I refuse to make them mine.